Croup-y Groupies

Zephy Monster has croup – that awful, seal-liking, soul-sucking, barking cough that small kids are prone to get. Ashley Face took him to the doctor yesterday and he gets to eat a really big pill. Yuck.

However, yesterday morning, he was trying his damn hardest to remain positive:

Zephy (In the backseat on the way to drop me off at work): “Wow *cough* *cough* *cough* da-a-a *cough* d-d-ad! The tre- *cough* -es are really *cough* really *cough* *cough* beautiful *cough* to- *cough* -day! *cough*”

The monster’s spirits are amazing – the cough doesn’t really seem to get him down or curb his lack of enthusiasm for anything. Or maybe that’s the steroids he’s on. Come to think of it, the pharmacist did say he would be bouncing off the walls. It has to be the steroids. Either that, or Zephy Monster is a drama queen about chicken pasta and socks with strings in them, but not severe, debilitating respiratory illnesses.

I mean, the kid has snot coming out of damn near everywhere. Everywhere. I think his ears are leaking snot, or brain fluid, or something. The night before last was traumatic for me and Ashley – laying awake listening to a miniature Darth Vader in the other room, helplessly listening to his painful wheezes and feeling powerless to intervene. After a while, the coughing and wheezing becomes part of the background, droning on just like any other noise in the house.

That’s parenting I suppose. Pretending your kid is a Sith Lord with a breathing problem so that you can rationalize some sleep for yourself, and imagining his coughs are just messed up form of white noise.

-Daddy Levi

PS: Google dictionary spell check not only has “Darth Vader”, but recommends it be capitalized… but it flags “Sith” as misspelled? What gives, Google?






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